Guiding a game before launch has its ups and downs. When you finally figure something out, you get that sweet, sweet rush of serotonin. But it often takes hours (or even days) of grinding away and tearing your hair out trying to find every last collectable, with not a soul to help you. For the past few days, I’ve been haunted by gold balls inLike a Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Erased His Name.
With a lot of games, you know the types of guides you’re going to be writing. For the Yakuza series, there are collectables, sub-stories, minigame guides, and all that good stuff. But there are always a few surprises along the way that you know other players will search for when they encounter them. This is prime guide material.
While completing a request or two, I noticed a boat zipping up and down the river. On the front of the boat was a man posing in his underwear, macho-man style. His crotch was glowing, indicating a collectable item. I timed it just right to use Kiryu’s Spider gadget to snatch this up, and I received… a Gold Ball. At the same time, the Gotta Catch Some Balls! Achievement popped. Not everyone is as inclined to grab strangers’ crotches as I am, so I figured people might want to know the deal with this man, or the deal with the Achievement itself.
I checked the item out in my inventory to see whether it had any uses and read, ‘A mysterious ball with a golden shine. Rumor has it that if you collect seven, you’ll be granted a wish.’ I hoped that was just some silly flavour text to make a Dragon Ball Z reference, but the ‘1/7’ that followed should have clued me in that I was mistaken. As I unlocked Akame’s Shop and saw another Gold Ball for sale for 777 points, I knew I’d need to track down all seven for my guide.
This wasn’t my first Yakuza rodeo, so I knew to hit up the minigame areas and check their prize stores for more Gold Balls. Most were complete duds, but the pool minigame store had one for 777 points again. Now, I absolutely suck at pool, but hey, at least it wasn’t golf. I played pool (quite terribly) for ages to scrape together enough points. My next stop was Ebisu Pawn, another old reliable based on my experience with past games, and it did not disappoint.
Now I had four balls, but where were the others? Around this time, Akame offered up the Gotta Catch ‘em Balls! request for finding all seven. I couldn’t stop now. I had to find out what happened, but I put it on the backburner as I completed the game. During my playthrough, I found another wedged up the crotch of a large gold statue (my crotch grabbing skills again coming in handy), thanks to a nearby NPC commenting on it. Another request led me to find the penultimate ball as part of a treasure hunt riddle, but where was the final one?
At this point, I’d completed Like a Dragon Gaiden, and it felt like I had searchedeverywhere.I had Gold Balls on the brain, and I was seeing them every place I looked, even when they weren’t really there. Golden christmas tree baubles, on Christmas wreaths, on statues. None had that glimmer of a collectable, though.
I became convinced it might be a reward or related to completing some side content. Remember how I was happy I didn’t have to play golf? Turns out that getting eight bingos in some weird golf bingo minigame for a support quest is pretty annoying (and took me quite some time, resulting in no Gold Ball to boot). Don’t even get me started on the karaoke ones, either.
Once all the support quests were done, and with no final Gold Ball in sight, I moved on to Requests. I got down to two — the Gotta Catch ‘em Balls! quest I naturally couldn’t complete until I found the final ball, and one that wouldn’t unlock until I progressed in the Coliseum storyline. Alright, it’s time to start fighting my way through some Coliseum matches.
I got to Platinum rank, with just a few fights remaining, when I suddenly saw the light. Or rather, the shimmer of a collectible. The Gold Ball I was missing was obtained from a man in his underwear, much like the boat guy, dancing around on a conveyor belt. I’d somehow missed him, likely checking that area when he was too far out of range for me to notice the collectable shine. I screamed out loud in frustration, then grabbed his crotch as hard as I could.
I’d spent days searching for these balls and then even more time completing all the side content in my quest to figure out where the final ball was hiding. Was it all worth it in the end? Did completing that request have some unforgettable scene that made all the pain disappear? Let’s just say yes so I don’t cry myself to sleep.
Please know that I went through this pain so you don’t have to, as you can justcheck our guide on exactly where to find all these ballsand grab all these crotches.
NEXT:My Bard’s 90 Hour Quest To Find A Flute In Baldur’s Gate 3
