Malenia is meant to beElden Ring’s toughest boss, but that hasn’t stopped players from cutting her down with ease in the most challenging of ways, whether that meansusing their goldfishorbusting a move on a dance mat.
Two years on and people are still making Malenia look as difficult as a level one Magikarp. It’s a bit embarrassing, especially when you struggle with a Rivers of Blood and Mimic build. FutureAristocrat is rubbing another mountain of salt in the wound with their jazz run, making Malenia look like a washed-up has-been without hitting her once - all they needed was a trumpet and some bubbles.
Fans have evenbrought Malenia to Fortniteand created16-bit versionsof her, because dying endlessly to her in Elden Ring isn’t enough.
“This took fuing forever,” FutureAristocrat said, making that mountain of salt a smidge smaller. “Blowing bubbles forces you to play incredibly passive, and doing it hitless makes it worse. It’s a long video so I’ll try and edit it down for another post. Some thoughts: the Envoy Horns are absolutely garbage weapons against fast enemies. The blowing animation takes FOREVER and the bubbles are easily sidestepped or dodged by anyone who tries to do so. The hitboxes are a and the tracking is even worse.
“You can kind of use the Envoy’s Longhorn and Greathorn against Malenia’s first phase, but her second phase is so damn aggressive that either of them will just get you killed unless she’s flowering. Not to mention how you’ll probably miss anyway because she’s always dodging projectiles.”
You’re welcome to give the build a try, but as FutureAristocrat said, it drags the fight out which means you have to dodge her attacks even more. Just imagine blowing bubbles for seven minutes, right at the cusp of victory, only to get sliced and diced by a flurry of very painful, very insulting sword swings. No thanks. But with some calming jazz music playing over the top, the urge to throw the controller to the side and close the game gets a bit less intense, at least.
Other Malenia-adjacent stories that put us all to shame:Let Me Solo Her beat Elden Ringwith a mod that made every enemy Malenia, one playerbeat her inten seconds,anotherkicked her to death, and one player did itwith one hand.
It turns out the way to get through this fight all along was a steamy bubble bath and some romantic tunes. Alternatively, stick to cheese. Cheese is good.
